Because like bubbles, they burst.I still remember so vividly how my mam and I were glued to the telly one fateful Wednesday night three years ago. We had hurried home to catch the wedding of Quan YiFeng and her huasband, and that half-hour episode turned both me and my mam into green-eyed monsters ever so envious of a romantic affair so meticulously planned. A wonderful evening at the dock with magical setting coupled with a few love songs from the Superstars that made most tear was completed with a trip out to sea for wedding photos.
Two years down the road, they divorced each other.
This time round, it is the grand wedding of Christopher Lee and Fann Wong.
This time round, my mam and I weren't glued to the telly.
This time round, we weren't turned into green-eyed monsters, with jaws wide opened.
Because, growing up, you realise that fairytales in which the prince and princess live together happily ever after seldom exist.
And you ask yourself, what's the point of making the wedding such a major event if ultimately things do not work out?
Not that I'm cursing the twain, of course.
But you do realise that relationships are delicate affairs which should be handled with much care and sensitivity. Like bubbles, relationships can burst and be short-lived if not properly dealt with. This applies even more so to romantic relationships which may end very easily due to miscommunication and misunderstandings, or due to the fading of feelings for the other party as some people claim.
Which is why communcation becomes all the more important.
Communication allows us to know one another better, invariantly cutting down on the number of unwanted misunderstandings.
Communication lets us clarify our doubts, correcting our misconception.
Communication helps keep the sparks between lovebirds going.
A couple broke up because of a misunderstanding over a photo in which the girl never bothered to clarify. When they eventually got back together, there was very little communication, resulting in them breaking up. Again. This time, for good.
Someone once told me that in a relationship, haptics - a science to do with the sense of touch - is very important. It need not be something too exaggerated, like hugging so tightly in the middle of a busy shopping mall you seem to be stuck to each other with a super glue , nor need it be something like kissing so vigoriously like there's no tomorrow. It just takes a simple interlocking of the hands to make the other party feel important to you.
Then there is also the kinesics and paralinguistics and a whole load of other nonverbal and verbal communication that are just so important in maintaining relationships. Yet sometimes, it is also communication that leads some relationships to the point of no repair.
Paradoxical, isn't it?
A straightforward and honest post! (:
ReplyDeleteAnd yes indeed, communication plays the most vital role in relationship and I am a complete advocate to that. Nature vs nurture? some may question and i personally feel that both plays equally significant roles. Nature - Interest and similarities. Nurture- development in communications. Like a car, nature being the engine cannot function without nurture, the exterior.
Hence it is important for us to note the importance of having both the nature and nurture of communications equally emphasized in relationships. Though it might not be an easy task, considering that each individual have differing personalities and character, but in order for a r/s to work, both would have to put in an effort to bridge such differences.
haha a good view on the matter x) i find it true that most people do not really see the meaning of relationships to some its just for pleasure or they just someone to be there for them..they fail to notice that its not about being there 24/7 or spending every second in your life trying to please her but its about understanding each other and know when to step in and when to be there.. there needs to be a mutual understanding between both partners for them to tell when your partner needs extra attention and when she needs more space x))
ReplyDeletefairytales do happen. but its just not in Singapore. In america, weddings are carefully planned, some even spend a bomb on this once in a lifetime event. Carriages and horses were hired for the day to make fairytales come true in reality.
ReplyDeletei believe that communication is very important in a relationship. very important indeed. it is like the fundamental element in all relationships. well, of course there are other factors that is involved. :) im sure you know it too
Yes, communication is certainly very important in a relationship. For instance, self-disclosure can help the other party to understand he/her better. I do agree that for a wedding, there is no need to make it a super grand event. I believe if both parties truely love each other, a nice and simple wedding will do. As for the case of Chris & Fann, I guess they just had the means and money to make it a grand event.
ReplyDeletethat's why the sense of touch plays an important role in a relationship. a simple touch is all it takes to feel the magic.
ReplyDeleteno matter how grand or simple a wedding is, we have to face the possibility of a divorce. because you will never know what will happen next.
so perhaps the only consolation i could offer is to have a simple wedding that inccurs a low cost. if the marriage does not work out in the future, we do not have to think about wasting precious money on a wedding ceremony.
less heart pains for everyone.
i agree with what you said. yes, communication plays an important role in relationships. usually, couples break up due to misunderstanding or lack of communication. being understanding and respecting the other party seems to be the perfect solution. but how many couples can do that? perhaps there may be another perfect solution out there waiting for couples.
ReplyDeletefairytales do happen. it just depends on how we and our partners keep the sparks going on(:
true. fairy tales do happen, but unfortunately they do require effort to maintain,..i do not believe in any simplistic portrayal of perfect, happy-endings. and you're right in saying how communication can both ruin and enlighten a relationship. just like a boat on water, the water can carry it through smoothly, or it will swallow it.
ReplyDeleteyes. some of us are such dumb creatures. we need the other party to say things in our faces so that we understand. sad but true.
ReplyDeletethe smallest deed is greater than the grandest intention. so let's not keep things to ourselves and expect the other party to know what you think. it doesn't work. generally.
yes, their marriage was indeed a spectacular event, but having it shown on telecast isnt a much 'wow' thing i suppose. there's just so much you have to portray as 'the couple'.
ReplyDeletehowever, in order to say you love someone, means accomodating to all their flaws and problems and tt does take alot of courage. so, all the best to them!
lol weird isn't it, that everything seems to be a double-edged sword
ReplyDeletecommunication between couple plays the main role to keep the love going on. Quoted:" You are not gonna promise each other that u will not disappoint one another, becus at some point u will. What is important is you don't go away, you don't escape, you don't leave one another just becus you are disappointed." communication and trust are the elements to sail through the obstacles.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it's true when they say that the foundation of a relationship lies in communication. With communication , trust and commitment will naturally fall into place. It can also be a form of assurance and security to each other!
ReplyDeleteYes indeed, communication is always a factor when it comes to relationships, be it friendship, BGR or even between siblings or family members. Without communication, the other party can only interpret, and most of the time it is what that leads to failure in relationships. Even its just a 'hello, good morning' gesture would actually help maintaining a good relationship.
ReplyDeleteI say the point of such a major wedding is basically 'love blindness'. There's a saying that 'love is blind', which I agree to a certain extent. You are only blind once you fell deeply into the relationship; not when you're choosing your 'special one'. You only want the best for your spouse and not in a 0.1% chance you would have thought of the future, which in Quan YiFeng case, happened to be a divorce.
ReplyDeleteOh and totally agree with your paradoxic theory.
communication is KEY in any relationship!
ReplyDeletewithout proper and effective communication the relationship will eventually reach the termination stage sooner or later!
to whatisadriansblog:
ReplyDeleteit all boils down to compromises doesnt it.
to Chuanyue:
whoa tough ehs.
to Breda :
indeed, what's the point of making it such a grand event if we were to part right. heard about so many such cases alr.
to kit:
lols now it's the money sister? i guess people are always taking the easy way out (divorce) now, because we aren't as traditional to think that once we are married we have to stick to that partner for good. hence we do not even try to salvage relationships. at least for most of us.
to pingkan:
apt analogy!